Every event that happens in our life has an impact on who we are and how we evolve.
In 2016 I started my dream job. Or, what seemed to be the dream job – fantastic brand, visionary management, awesome travel perks & role perfectly crafted for me. From day dreaming, it quickly turned into a nightmare built on misconceptions and great storytelling skills. I was emotionally abused, disappointed, burnt out and powerless.
The whole experience made me fall hard. I reached the rock bottom in terms of my mental state, it was tough, but thanks to that I went through an incredible transformation journey.
- I started seeing a therapist. I cannot stress enough how important this decision was. I always believed that if i got myself in that state of mind I should get myself out of it too and I couldn’t be further from the truth.
My therapist/business & life coach showed me how important it is to get a different point of view on facts and how our perception is heavily shaped by our experiences.
- I focused on myself. I was brought up to belief that I should give my best to others without expecting much in return. Because you know, the good karma always come back, right?
Well, this couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve realised that the more of my time and energy I was giving to others, the more people were taking advantage of me. At some point, majority of people in my life were all about receiving with a minimal drive to giving back. I felt lonely surrounded by lots of great friends. Reaching the lowest of the lows, when I needed trusted people in my life, made me realise I would never get any attention from the once around me and this was a (painful) eye-opener.
Ever since then, I shifted my focus, I cut down on giving up my me-time to others, I decided to spend more time with myself and focus on what is important to me. And I recommend doing the same.
PS. Yes, it does mean some people will move away from you but it’s the real friends that will be there to cheer you on your journey.
- I understood myself. I have come to a realisation that my moral backbone is what drives my decisions and, oftentimes, drives me to conflict. Working in a setting that didn’t represent the same believes was cumbersome to say the least, but because of it, I learnt I want to surround myself with people (both on a personal as well as professional level) who represent the same values.
- I started investing in myself. Rather than running away from problems into partying and drinking, I opted in for staying indoors and spending money on my wellbeing – whether it’s eating better food, gym, therapy, massages or Invisalign.
Long live the weekend morning when I am full of energy and motivation!
- I learnt to accept myself and the way I am. This one is difficult. We are all being fed from a young age with preconceptions of how we are ought to behave and penalised for the way we are as if there was a universal social norm that everyone has to stick to. Throughout therapy, I learnt that a lot of the issues I was facing come down to self-acceptance and setting boundaries – basically growing a thick skin. It is a long process and it is difficult when you (just like me) always believed it’s good to be flexible and accepting towards others – but it is absolutely worth it.
- I found gratitude. This is by far the biggest achievement. It is still work in progress but day by day I am consciously choosing to appreciate every aspect of my life. I understood that if my misogynistic boss didn’t come into my life, i would have never been where I am right now.
Now, look at your life and the events that affected you and see how they shaped you into who you are. And if you are going through a tough time right now – try to find the silver lining. What lessons have you learnt? How can these events improve your life in the future? How can you invest the energy you have into a positive output?
Happy, (more) confident and with a clear vision of my life.